From the back of The Billionaire Needs a Bodyguard:
Desire is the deadliest weapon…
Alexandra “Lex” Granger surrounds herself with wealthy, powerful businessmen. But she’s no gold-digger… She’s a highly trained private security consultant. And she gives the term ‘undercover’ new meaning when she poses as a high-priced escort to protect her new client, Michael Thornton.
There’s just one problem with her plan…
Michael doesn’t know the truth. Despite the death threats he’s received, the last thing this handsome billionaire wants is a bodyguard. He’s convinced Lex is really a grifter, a femme fatale who scams rich men for everything that she can get. But before the assignment even begins in earnest, sparks fly and their mutual attraction threatens to distract Liz from doing her job. And she can’t have that, can she?
Even as they flirt with danger in the romantic city of Copenhagen, Lex and Mike embark on a turbulent affair. And Mike realizes that his seductive guardian has awakened a passion in him unlike anything he’s ever felt before. Lex has always lived by one rule – never fall in love with the client. But trapped between temptation and danger, she’s about to put that rule to the ultimate test…
Some books are so good, you just can’t put them down. Some books are so terrible, you want to throw them against a wall after reading maybe 20%. And some books are awful train wrecks you can’t look away from. This book fell into the latter category. I should have probably stopped reading it after a while, but it was so hilariously bad, I just had to keep reading. Was it a waste of my time? As a reader, maybe. As a writer, I learned a lot about what not to do.
I had chosen this book because it seemed like a nice story – a female bodyguard who falls in love with her male client. So far so good. But that’s pretty much where the “good” ends. The whole book made no sense. Lex (yes, it’s Lex, despite her being called Liz once in the blurb) has to guard billionaire Michael Thornton, despite him having a whole security team of his own. But! He can’t know that he’s getting extra security, because REASONS and also because REASONS MI5 is involved. I didn’t understand that at all. Why would MI5 provide security to a private citizen, especially when said private citizen has already indicated he thinks his security team is adequate? Makes no sense.
Anyway, Lex has to pretend to be an escort, as Michael wants to hire an escort to pose as his girlfriend. MI5 provides Lex with an identity and a backstory, which is that she’s a gold digger who works as an escort. Again – why? Michael almost doesn’t hire her because he’s, understandably, not interested in attracting a gold digger, so this fake backstory could have completely derailed their plan to get Lex hired. Why take that chance? But I guess it was convenient for plot reasons. So many things in this book are happening for plot reasons and nothing else. Personally, I think it would make more sense if Michael hired Lex as an extra bodyguard and asked her to pose as his girlfriend, because at least then there could have been an element of “us against the world” for them to bond over.
I liked Lex, although her “I’m so skinny, I can’t possibly be pretty” schtick was a bit overdone and it would have been more interesting if she had a more complex backstory. Michael was an asshole. He hires Lex, despite her being a gold digging escort, and decides to play games with her to put her in her place. He confuses escorts with prostitutes and treats Lex terribly, especially in the beginning. I couldn’t understand how Lex could fall in love with him. There was nothing to love about a man who is that horrible to women. And even though Lex had to play the role of an escort, she could still have stood up to him about treating her like rubbish.
There are so many more examples of plot holes and turns of events that make no sense, but I will spare you them. Let’s say a few words about the writing, because even a book full of plot holes can be enjoyable if the writing is good.
Sadly, the writing isn’t. Good, that is. Let’s start with point of view. It’s one of my bugbears and I will put a book aside if the POV isn’t consistent across the board. This book starts in third person omniscient POV. We get a view of the Thames and a lone jogger on the path. That jogger is revealed to be Lex. Third person omniscient is a bit of an odd POV to choose for a romance novel, because it makes everything feel a bit impersonal. The author must have felt the same, as about a quarter into the book, she switches to deep third POV. However, she can’t quite let go of the head-hopping aspect of third person omniscient and we therefore get treated to both Michael and Lex’s inner thoughts at the same time, which became very confusing at one point.
I’ll stop here. I could add the fact that there was an excess of exclamation marks in The Billionaire Needs a Bodyguard, or that the writer (and also the editor) wasn’t familiar with some words, which led to the hilarious sentence, “she checked all the room and found nothing innocuous”, but this post has become too long already.
In my personal opinion, The Billionaire Needs a Bodyguard isn’t a book I would recommend.